For Tomorrow

 

Jim held on to the rail, wind blowing through his matted hair. This was his only choice now. The Thames flowed steadily under the bridge beneath his feet. He just needed to step over, leap and it would all be gone. His knuckles clenched white, the fear of it overcoming him in an almighty wave as the icy wind made his teeth chatter. The ice beneath him cracked, creating an almost seamless line along the edges of the river banks. He was trying hard not to be sick, though his stomach churned and bile rose in his throat.

Susan held onto the wheel of the car tightly. She had to get to him. she knew he was desperate and now she felt the deep despair as she impatiently waited at the traffic lights. The last thing she wanted was to see him get sick again. As the lights turned green, she accelerated reaching the bridge to find his striking outline in the distance, hair blowing in the wind.

She pulled up alongside him and took off the seatbelt, reaching over and opening the passenger door.

"Jim......" her eyes pleaded with him "Jim, get in"

He turned. Tears had stained his face. He swallowed and hastily got into the car.

The journey was silent as they travelled away from Battersea and towards Emperors gate. Susan kept looking over at him, her wonderful Jim. How had it come to this? She wanted to just get him home. It had all seemed like their dream life in London was becoming just a line in some sort of fairy tale or song. A dream where London was the shining star in their lives, just totally wonderful. Reality had hit hard.

They pulled up outside their home.

"Susan, I...." Jim stopped and got out of the car. he went into the house and immediately went to his room, slinging the keys on the dresser. Throwing himself onto the old and tattered sofa, he switched on the TV with the remote, the light from the screen illuminating the darkened room. Staring at it briefly, he had enough and switched it off again, lifting his heavy body to make a cup of tea.

"Life" he muttered to himself "Modern life. It sucks. It's rubbish"

Susan breezed in, smiling as she sweetly as she could. She tried to ooze the naughtiness she was loved and revered for. She was known for her cheeky one liners and ability to make everyone laugh. She wanted to lift him out if his sense of foreboding. Jim wasn't laughing.

"Tomorrow might be better" She offered politely

"Tomorrow?" he retorted "I'm always holding on for tomorrow! It never makes it any better!"

Susan's face fell. She started to think. Surely there must be some solution to help him. What could they do? Her best therapy was always walking. Perhaps....?

"Let's go for a drive" We could go to Primrose Hill. It's windy there and you've always said the views are nice. It's where we met, remember? You were jogging...."

"I remember" 

She rattled the car keys in her hand.

"It's cold out, you best get changed. Put some thicker clothes on. London ice, y'know? It freezes your toes!!"

Jim nodded.

"Could we go tomorrow?" he asked

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes" he replied "Then I have something to hold on to"

Copyright C Maskell 2025